How Depression Impacts Your Relationships

Depression can have a big impact on relationships and family dynamics, making it harder for people to communicate, connect, and be active members in their loved ones’ lives. You might think they’re avoiding you or that they’re upset with you, especially if they’re no longer engaging in conversations or activities you used to do together. It might even feel like they’re taking you for granted or don’t value the relationship anymore.

Understanding how depression impacts relationships helps people see that the behavior of a loved one isn’t about them or a lack of care, but rather a symptom of the depression. It becomes easier to recognize that their behavior is tied to their mental health, not their feelings toward you. This understanding can reduce feelings of rejection or frustration, because instead of thinking, “They don’t care about me anymore,” you might think, “They’re struggling right now, and it’s not personal.”

However, with patience, understanding, and support, families can work through these challenges together. In this blog post, we’ll explain how depression symptoms can affect relationships, helping you better understand your loved one so you can (hopefully) heal your bond with them. 

How Someone’s Depression Can Impact Their Relationships

While depression often does impact relationships, it’s not always the case that it will definitely do so. Everyone’s experience with depression is different, and the way it affects relationships can vary based on the severity and type of depression symptoms a person experiences.

Withdrawal from Others

Depression can make a person feel tired, sad, or disconnected from everything around them. Because of this, they might withdraw from family and friends as a way to cope, not wanting to hang out, talk, or participate in things they once enjoyed. 

For the people close to them, this withdrawal can be confusing or hurtful. They might not understand why the person is pulling away, and it can create tension or arguments, especially if they feel like they’re being ignored or pushed aside.

Communication Struggles

When someone is dealing with depression, it can make communication difficult. They may struggle to express what they’re feeling or what they need. This could mean shutting down during conversations or not being able to talk about what’s really going on. At times, they might also become irritable or defensive. 

For family members, it can be frustrating because they don’t know how to help or what to say. This lack of communication can make it feel like the person with depression is distant, even if they don’t mean to be.

Increased Conflict

Depression can lead to more irritability or frustration than usual. Someone who is depressed might snap at people over small things, or get angry for reasons that aren’t immediately clear. This increase in tension can lead to more arguments, especially with family members who are closest to them. 

The person with depression might feel misunderstood or attacked, while others may feel like they’re being unfairly treated. This cycle of conflict can make things even more difficult and can create hurt feelings on both sides.

Feeling Like a Burden

People with depression often feel like they are a burden to others, even though that’s not true. They might worry that their problems are too much for their family to handle, so they may hide their feelings or avoid asking for help. This feeling of being a burden can make the person feel isolated or like no one cares about them. On the other side, family members may feel unsure of how to help, and their frustration might lead to feelings of helplessness.

Lack of Energy or Interest

Depression can take away a person’s energy and interest in things they once loved, including spending time with family or participating in activities. They may not have the motivation to engage in conversations or help with household responsibilities. For the family, this lack of involvement can be hurtful, as they may feel disconnected or like the person doesn’t care about them or the family’s needs. It may also create extra work or stress for others, who might feel like they’re doing everything on their own.

Role Changes in the Family

When someone in the family is struggling with depression, it can cause shifts in family roles. The person with depression may need more support, and other family members might take on extra responsibilities, like helping with daily tasks or taking care of others. These changes can be tough for everyone, especially if someone feels overwhelmed or burdened by the extra work. It can also lead to feelings of frustration, guilt, or burnout for those who are stepping up to support the person with depression.

Can Depression Ruin Relationships?

Yes, depression can strain and sometimes even ruin relationships if it’s not properly understood or managed. For example, if someone with depression withdraws from their partner, family members, or friends, it’s natural for those people to feel rejected or ignored. Without resolution, this leads to frustration, hurt feelings, and misunderstandings. 

The lack of energy or interest in activities that once brought the person joy can also leave loved ones feeling disconnected and unsure of how to help. However, while depression can cause serious challenges in relationships, it doesn’t have to ruin them. 

How to Protect Your Relationship From Depression

When a loved one is struggling with depression, it can definitely put a strain on your relationship, but there are things you can do to protect and strengthen your connection with them. Here are a few strategies to help prevent their depression from damaging your relationship:

1. Educate Yourself About Depression

The more you understand depression, the better equipped you’ll be to handle it. Learning about the symptoms and how it affects behavior can help you see that their withdrawal or lack of interest isn’t about you or your relationship, but about the depression itself. This can help reduce misunderstandings and protect you from feeling personally hurt.

2. Be Patient and Empathetic

Patience is key when someone is dealing with depression. Understand that they may not be able to show love or affection the way they used to. Instead of getting frustrated, try to show empathy. Let them know you’re there for them, even if they can’t always respond or engage as they did before. Small gestures, like offering a listening ear or simply sitting with them, can help maintain the connection.

3. Encourage Open Communication

Depression can make it hard for your loved one to express their feelings, so it’s important to create a safe, non-judgmental space for them to talk when they’re ready. You might need to ask gently, but don’t pressure them. Let them know you’re there to listen without offering immediate solutions. This will show them that you care and that you’re willing to support them through tough times.

4. Set Boundaries and Take Care of Yourself

Supporting someone with depression can be emotionally draining, so it’s important to take care of yourself, too. Set healthy boundaries to avoid burnout. Make time for your own hobbies, friends, and self-care. When you’re feeling healthy and balanced, you’ll be in a better position to support your loved one without sacrificing your own well-being.

5. Offer Help with Practical Things

Sometimes, people with depression struggle with day-to-day tasks like cooking, cleaning, or even getting out of bed. Offering help with practical things can ease some of their burden without requiring them to engage in deep conversations. This shows your support and love, while also reducing their stress.

6. Encourage Professional Help

While your support is incredibly important, depression is best managed with professional help. Encourage your loved one to seek therapy or counseling, and offer to help them find a therapist or accompany them if that’s something they would find helpful. Sometimes, just knowing they’re not alone in seeking help can be a huge comfort. 

A professional can also help improve family communication and heal fractured dynamics. Healing alongside loved ones can be a huge benefit for both the person struggling with depression and their loved ones. A professional can also offer guidance to help you stage a mental health intervention if your loved one can’t see how much they’re struggling.

7. Stay Committed to the Relationship

Even if things get difficult, make sure your loved one knows you’re committed to being there for them through their struggle. Let them know that you’re not going anywhere, and that you want to work through the tough times together. This can provide them with the emotional security they need to heal, and it strengthens your relationship in the long run.

8. Focus on Small Wins

Recovery from depression is often slow, and progress may feel like it’s happening in small steps. Celebrate even the smallest improvements. Whether it’s them getting out of bed, talking a little more, or attending therapy, acknowledging progress can help both of you feel more hopeful about the future.

Start Healing From Depression Today

When a person has depression, it impacts their relationships with friends, family, and loved ones. If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, our inpatient mental health treatment program can help.

Northpoint Nebraska provides specialized programs and therapies to help our patients recover from mental health disorders. Our goal is to help our patients heal and learn how to live their life to the fullest.

Contact us today to learn more about how we can help you or your loved one break free from depression.